Sweary Army

British Army Instructors Told to Cut Down on Swearing

So, it’s going to be the softly, softly, approach from now on, is it?

Following a BBC documentary, ‘One doesn’t need to swear to get their point across.

They're just additional wasted words and breath. If you need to prefix every word with the f word, you're not exactly showing great intelligence.’ My answer to that is since when has fucking intelligence been a requirement to stick a bayonet into another man and rip his guts out?

The primary task of the soldier is to kill other soldiers. You don't need a degree in bloody English and a BSc in Social Economics to do that, you twat. ‘Sir, Sir all the men have run away!’ ‘Why?’

‘Well, some guy with an AK47 told them to Fuck Off.’ Does this now mean recruits will no longer have the joy of being bawled at?

‘Jones40 those boots of yours could do with a bit more polish, there’s a good lad, shiny boots are happy boots!  

There’s a boot bulling club at 2000 hours tonight if you’d care to join us. Free chocolate biscuits and coffee!’ Or on the drill square. ‘Private Jennings you really are struggling with your drill, aren’t you? Don’t worry lad we’ll all wait for you to catch up, won’t we lads… Leave no man behind.’ Rather than ‘What do we have here, undisputed mong magnet of the fucking year 2023- 2024 do they miss you in the village Jennings? You are a shagging disease and infecting the whole of my fucking squad you fucktard. Get the fuck off my drill square and sort yourself out gedawaaaaay.’

So, it’s going to be the softly, softly, approach from now on, is it? If that is the case, I think it’s up to us veterans to step up and prepare our future fighting men and women for military life.

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